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“When my grandfather was in the hospital and was close to death, my parents did not take me to see him, as most parents with younger children would not. The reason behind this action is that they want the child to remember this person before they were frail and weak.”

Is the second comma in the first sentence necessary?

Yes, without that comma the sentence loses its clarity. I, however, would change the verb after "parents" to "would not"... to further balance and clarify the sentence. In addition, put "also would not" at the end.

I would also change "they" in the last part of the passage to a singular since the antecedent is "this person" -- there's a clear pronoun/antecedent error here.


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