My teacher said that I only put that he "appears" to be a hypocrite, and that I need to clearly state if he is a hypocrite or not. Also, by putting "and three examples can be cited to demonstrate this trait of his", is a pretty weak thesis, she says.
I would agree with your teacher. You need to state that despite his words his actions demonstrate his lack of will. Then go back to the first sentence and state that despite his vow to avenge his father he does not take action, that despite his vow of love for Ophelia, he does not follow through, that despite his promises to his mother, he is not faithful in doing as he says. Use three sentences. The you can build the rest of the paper on those main points.
It seems like your teacher is asking for a stronger thesis statement that clearly states whether the character in question is a hypocrite or not. They also want you to provide specific examples to support your argument. Here's how you can revise your thesis statement and build your paper around it:
Revised thesis statement: Despite [character's name]'s declarations, his actions throughout the play reveal his hypocritical nature.
Now, let's expand on this thesis by providing three specific examples to support your argument:
Example 1: Despite [character's name]'s vow to avenge his father's death, he procrastinates and fails to take any concrete action, revealing his hypocrisy.
Example 2: Despite expressing his love for Ophelia, [character's name] treats her poorly, suggesting that his words do not align with his actions and highlighting his hypocritical behavior.
Example 3: [Character's name] promises his mother that he will be loyal and obedient, but his actions reveal a lack of commitment to his promises, showcasing his hypocritical nature.
Now, you can proceed to develop each of these examples in separate paragraphs, providing evidence and analysis to support your claims. Make sure to include specific quotes, references to the text, and explain the significance of each example in relation to your thesis statement.
Remember, it's important to clearly state your argument and provide specific evidence to support it when writing an essay. This not only strengthens your thesis but also helps to persuade your reader of the validity of your claims.