posted by Michelle on .
Hello! I have an essay due soon, and I need some help with my thesis statement. I haven't written an essay for a few years so if someone can critique and comment on the thesis it would help out a lot. Thanks! Here it is:
Although some might argue that riddles are mere childrenâ€™s games, the sheer mechanics of a riddle are identical to those used in the art of poetry; thus, resulting in the audience gaining a deeper perspective on society, the world, and the subject itself.
Although some might argue that riddles are mere children's games, the sheer mechanics of a riddle are identical to those used in the art of poetry, resulting in the reader's deeper perspective on society, the world, and the subject itself.
Remove "thus" and "audience gaining" -- otherwise, it sounds fine.
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