Posted by Melolove on neo on Thursday, February 15, 2007 at 2:03pm.
ello, its me again I could anyone read my body paragraph and give me constructive critcism? My homework assignment was to create one body paragraph of the following these: By checking plots, characters, and special effects, it can be seen if the "Lone Ranger" is a good radio program. Okay I chose to do plots, please tell me any spelling mistakes or any kind of improvement needed in the folowing paragraph:
The first subject we will put into thought is plots. The Lone Ranger, was about the adventures of a masked hero and is Native American partner. The Texas Ranger was nursed back to health by his Indian partner, throughout the West. They do quite well, while using the silver mine which supplies him with money and bullets.Of course; my favorite part of the Lone Ranger is also about friendship, and each episode seemed to have a lesson both moral and how to shoot the villian.
The first subject we<~~who are "we"?
will put thought into is plots.<~~Actually, it'd be better to delete that sentence and give a good, concise definition of the word "plot."
The Lone Ranger<~~titles of television shows should be underlined or in italics
was about the adventures of a masked hero and is<~~his
Native American partner. The Texas Ranger<~~new character??
was nursed back to health by his Indian partner, throughout<~~he nursed him back to health throughout the West???
the West. They do quite well, while using the silver mine which supplies him with money and bullets.<~~put space after period
Of course;<~~delete semicolon and insert comma
my favorite part of the Lone Ranger is also about friendship, and each episode seemed to have a lesson both moral and how to shoot the villian.<~~non-parallel construction; you have an adjective on one side of the "and" and a phrase on the other. They need to be the same construction. See the link below.
Your paragraph is incomplete.
Who was the Texas Ranger? What happened that he needed to be nursed back to health? What do they do well? You also need to expand on friendship, moral lessons, and shooting lessons.
Parallel structure: http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/parallelism.htm
Hm, I wonder.
Maybe it would be better at: The first subject we will put thought into is plots.
Be sure to read through the information in the linked pages before the words Writing paragraphs
in the list at the left.
Learning how to write a well developed paragraph is the first step in learning how to write a well developed essay. Without the first, you'll have huge trouble doing the second.
First of all lets look at the plot, which is the. the plan, scheme, or main story of a literary or dramatic work, as a play, novel, or short story. The Lone Ranger was about the adventures of a masked hero and his Native American partner. The Lone Ranger and his faithful friend has many hardships and challenges, yes they did quite well considering the fact they had a silver mine which supplied them with money and bullets. Of course, my favorite part of the Lone Ranger is also about friendship, and each episod had a moral lesson.
That first sentence is still quite awkward, and now there are run-ons in there. I also still don't think it's well developed.
What hardships and challenges did they face?
How did they come into possession of this silver mine?
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