Could someone check if Health research is well written, Please
See below or this: http://www.jiskha.com/display.cgi?id=1171501206
Please check if its better and could you suggest a Title, Thank YOU
From 1950 to 1959 scientific researches were studing Hepatitis B (HB) virus and some others for vaccines. They were prepared by growing the virus in contaminated chimpanzees and shipped from Africa to NYC. It is believed that AIDS originated from these contaminated vaccines. These experimental vaccines were administrated to homosexuals in New York City and black men in Africa in 1974 to 1975. By 1981 homosexuals were dying of pneumonia and doctors revealed that all has the same infections. The theory was that the infection had to do with only homosexuals.
Suddenly, this disease was spreading too fast. It was worrying the scientist's community. Other countries start to testing the people for possible infections of this kind. This was going global, and panic was arising among the population. This was a contagious disease people were afraid of the unknown. There were many myths such as: getting infected with AIDS through kissing, touching or anything that came to mind. By this time the scientists noticed the incubation for the virus was from seven to ten years.
While president Reagan was in office, he was told about AIDS and its consequences but never said a word about it to the people. In 1987, President Reagan called AIDS(acquired immune deficiency syndrome)"public enemy number one" and later in 1990 apologized for not given the attention, importance and for not alerting the country of the magnitude of the epidemic while he was president.
IN an article written by Leonard G. Horowitz, D.M.D., said that AIDS is undoubtedly "man made." Meaning a scientic mistake,induced negligently, not intentionly or were not aware of the fanger for not taking the adequate precautions,phycians would take blood from chimpanzees and then inject back to humans with infected serum samples. Later, it was given to human subjects in NYC and sub-Saharan Africans. So, this would be the best explanation to the origin of HIV/AIDS. However, there are other theory's such as; that it was released intentionally, CIA was involved and political interest.
Please check if its better and could you suggest a Title, Thank YOU
Suggested title : The Early history of AIDS
Between 1950 to 1959, scientific researchers were studing Hepatitis B (HB) virus and others for the purpose of making vaccines. These vaccines were prepared by growing the virus in contaminated chimpanzees and and then shipping the vaccine from Africa to NYC. It is believed that AIDS originated from these contaminated vaccines. In 1974 and 1975, these experimental vaccines were administrated to two groups of individuals : homosexuals in New York City and black men in Africa . By 1981 homosexuals were dying of pneumonia and doctors found that all had the same infections. Therefore, the theory became that the infection was limited to homosexuals.
Suddenly, this disease was spreading through other parts of the community. This worried the scientifici community. Other countries began testing people for possible similar infections . The infection was becoming of global concern, and as this contagious disease was previously unknown, people became afraid. Many myths developed: ie. getting infected with AIDS through kissing, touching or random exposure. However, by this time the scientists discovered the incubation for the virus was from seven to ten years. This discovery put a different perspective on the methods of contagion.
Early in President Reagan's tenure in office, he was told about AIDS and its consequences. In 1987, President Reagan called AIDS(acquired immune deficiency syndrome)"public enemy number one" and later in 1990 apologized for not giving this epidemic the attention and importance needed and for not alerting the country to the magnitude of the epidemic while he was president.
In an article ,Leonard G. Horowitz, D.M.D., said that AIDS is undoubtedly "man made." By this Horowitz meant that AIDS was a scientific mistake,induced negligently, not intentionally. Scientists had not been aware of the danger and did not take adequate precautions. Physicians would take blood from chimpanzees and then inject humans with infected serum samples. Later, it was given to human subjects in NYC and sub-Saharan Africans. Although there are other theories, this proposal would be the best explanation as to the origin of HIV/AIDS.
To check if the health research is well-written, you can analyze the content for clarity, coherence, and accuracy. Here are some steps to follow:
1. Read the text carefully and pay attention to the overall structure of the information. Look for a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
2. Evaluate the language and grammar used. Check for correct spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure.
3. Assess the flow of the information. Make sure the ideas are presented in a logical sequence, and each paragraph follows a clear topic.
4. Verify the accuracy of the facts and information presented. Cross-reference the content with reputable sources to ensure its validity.
Based on these criteria, it appears that the revised version of the text is better than the original. It has improved clarity, organization, and grammar. However, it is still important to review the accuracy of the claims made in the text.
Additionally, the suggested title, "The Early History of AIDS," provides a clear and concise summary of the topic discussed in the text.
Remember, while these steps can help assess the quality of writing, it's always best to consult subject matter experts or conduct further research for a comprehensive evaluation of health research.