Saturday
September 20, 2014

Homework Help: English essay

Posted by Juliane on Saturday, February 3, 2007 at 10:41am.

I would be very thankful if you could correct my essay for grammer and spelling mistakes, thank you!

Japanese music

Lately Ifve been quite addicted to Japanese culture. Not that I havenft always been, but itfs getting worse and worse.
My most recent discovery is Japanese music. Ifd been listening to it for some months and then in October I decided to order a magazine about Visual Kei (a genre of Japanese music). Every time I looked in the magazine I got more and more fascinated - it was like a completely new world unfolding before my eyes. At that time, I was only keen on Miyavi and a couple other artists, so I started searching for the names in the magazine on the Internet.
The first band I found was An Cafe (AeBbN-X-) - they consist of Miku, the vocalist, Bou, the guitarist, Kanon, the bassist, and Teruki, the drummer. I liked their music right away - their genre is more Oshare Kei, which is happier and a lot more upbeat than Visual Kei.
At the moment, my biggest obsession is undeniably Gackt Camui. Hefs a songwriter, vocalist, multi-instrumentalist, actor, author, model and voice actor - all at the same time!
He made his big debut with the band Malice Mizer, but he then decided to go solo in 1999 due to unknown reasons. After he left the band, he became widely popular and he still is.
In 2003, he co-wrote and co-starred in the movie Moon Child, which made him even more popular. The movie is a bit peculiar, but it really gives you an idea about how Gackt thinks, which is great!
Nevertheless, I donft like him just because of what he has achieved in his career - I also love his personality. Many people would most likely describe him as odd, and I guess theyfre somewhat right.
He began to see himself as an outsider at age seven. One day while he was swimming off the coast of Okinawa, he nearly died. He has claimed that he actually drowned, but thatfs a little hard to believe. After his near-death experience (or death experience as he states), he has had the ability to see the dead. His family didnft believe him, though. When he was ten, however, he suddenly collapsed and was hospitalized at a hospital for extremely sick children. This was a very difficult time for him, and his friends in his ward died one after the other.
But even though he has been through so much hardship he has still been able to carry on, and thatfs really a thing to admire.
He has also always been very competitive, and itfs certainly not enough for him to be next best - thatfs why hefs so skilful at everything! Hefs not only a terrific musician, but hefs also an athlete and very intelligent. He enjoys studying language and can speak about five languages fluently.
In his interviews and on TV-shows he always tells bizarre stuff about himself. He believes that he was born in year 1540 and is a vampire. He also thinks that electric light can injure his eyes and therefore he wears sunglasses most of the time. He was once asked in an interview, what he was going to say to a person, who was nearly drowning in the ocean, and he simply answered: hThe ocean is beautiful, isnft it?h
Overall, hefs just a person you can nothing but idolize!

I donft really know what got me into J-rock (term for most Japanese music, even though itfs not rock) in the first place, but I think I was attracted by the J-rockersf weird appearances. Compared to European/American band theyfre just so unique. Itfs not just their music, but itfs their whole culture - everything from how they act in public to their marvellous scene shows.
On stage they usually wear striking make-up, unusual hairstyles and elaborate costumes. Most J-rockers are men, but they like dressing in female clothing. This is NOT because theyfre gay nor transvestites, but because they like to please their fans.

In the J-rock world fans feel much attached to their favourite bands and to one another - especially in the west, where fans of J-rock are rare to come across. Itfs important to work together to help J-rock gain more popularity in our end of the world, and one day we might get lucky enough to have our favourite band come to our country to throw a concert!



Woops, when the text says "f" it's an apostroph, sorry.

Introductory paragraph....
Lately I've become quite addicted to Japanese culture. Not that I haven't always been, but it's getting worse and worse. (What does the "it" refer to? Culture is the only noun available) My most recent discovery is Japanese music. I've been listening to it for some months and then in October I decided to order a magazine about Visual Kei ,a genre of Japanese music. Every time I looked in the magazine, I became more and more fascinated ; it was a completely new world unfolding before my eyes. I started searching on the Internet for the new names I found in the magazine .

The first band I found was An Cafe (AeBbN-X-) ; they consist of Miku, the vocalist; Bou, the guitarist; Kanon, the bassist; and Teruki, the drummer. I liked their music right away ; their genre is more Oshare Kei, which is happier and a lot more upbeat than Visual Kei.
(check out this site re: the use of semi-colons) http://www.wisc.edu/writing/Handbook/Semicolons.html

At the moment, my biggest obsession is undeniably Gackt Camui. He's a songwriter, vocalist, multi-instrumentalist, actor, author, model and voice actor - all at the same time!
He made his big debut with the band Malice Mizer, but in 1999 he decided to go solo . After he left the band, he became widely popular ,and he still is.
In 2003, he co-wrote and co-starred in the movie Moon Child ( underline major titles) , which made him even more popular. The movie is a bit peculiar, but it really gives an idea about how Gackt thinks. However, his achievements are not the only reason I like him ; I also love his personality. Many people would most likely describe him as odd, and I guess they're somewhat right.
He began to see himself as an outsider at age seven. One day while he was swimming off the coast of Okinawa, he nearly died. He has claimed that he actually drowned, but that's a little hard to believe. After his near-death experience (or death experience as he states), he has had the ability to see the dead. His family didn't believe him, though. When he was ten, however, he suddenly collapsed and was hospitalized at a hospital for extremely sick children. This was a very difficult time for him; his friends in his ward died one after the other. But even though he has been through so much hardship he has still been able to carry on, and that's really a trait to admire.
He has also always been very competitive, and it's certainly not enough for him to be next best; that's why he's so skillful at everything - music, athletics, languages.
In his interviews he always tells bizarre stuff about himself. He believes that he was born in year 1540 and is a vampire. He also thinks that electric light can injure his eyes ,and therefore he wears sunglasses most of the time. (He was once asked in an interview, what he was going to say to a person, who was nearly drowning in the ocean, and he simply answered: hThe ocean is beautiful, isnft it?) Run on sentence - needs fixing. Overall, he's just a person I can only idolize!

I don't really know what got me into J-rock, a term for most Japanese music, but I think I was attracted by the J-rockers' weird appearances. Compared to European/American bands they're just so unique. It's not just their music, but it's their whole culture - everything from how they act in public to their marvelous stage shows. On stage they usually wear striking make-up, unusual hairstyles and elaborate costumes. Most J-rockers are men, but they like dressing in female clothing. They are neither gay nor transvestites, they are performers. In the J-rock world ,fans feel very attached to their favourite bands and to one another . This is true especially in the West, where fans of J-rock are rare . Therefore, it is important to work together to help J-rock gain more popularity in our part of the world' then one day we may get lucky enough to have our favourite band come to our country to throw a concert!



"What does the "it" refer to? Culture is the only noun available"
What I mean there is that my addiction to the culture is getting worse and worse, but how do I write that?

"(He was once asked in an interview, what he was going to say to a person, who was nearly drowning in the ocean, and he simply answered: hThe ocean is beautiful, isnft it?) Run on sentence - needs fixing."
I had a hard time creating that sentence, and I just couldn't get it right. Could you please help?

Just leave out this sentence; it really isn't needed. "Not that I haven't always been, but it's getting worse and worse."

What about this for the run-on sentence?
(In an interview Gacki was asked, "What will you say to a person who is nearly drowning?" He simply answered,"The ocean is beautiful, isn't it?)

There were some punctuation errors in the last paragraph that I missed.

I don't really know what got me into J-rock, a term for most Japanese music, but I think I was attracted by the J-rockers' weird appearances. Compared to European/American bands, they're just so unique. It's not just their music, but it's their whole culture - everything from how they act in public to their marvelous stage shows. On stage they usually wear striking make-up, unusual hairstyles and elaborate costumes. Most J-rockers are men, but they like dressing in female clothing. They are neither gay nor transvestites; they are performers. In the J-rock world ,fans feel very attached to their favourite bands and to one another . This is true especially in the West, where fans of J-rock are rare . Therefore, it is important to work together to help J-rock gain more popularity in our part of the world. Then one day we may get lucky enough to have our favourite band come to our country to throw a concert!



Okay, I'll just leave that sentence out then.

The run-on sentence sounds great!

Thank you very much for all of your help. I really appreciate it!

Oh, and one more thing:

Instead of "At the moment, my biggest obsession is undeniably Gackt Camui" could I say "I continued to search and one day I stumbled upon an artist called Gackt Camui, who is undeniably my biggest obsession at the moment"?
Or just something like that? I want to indicate that I continued to search and then found him.

Your suggested sentence is perfect... It continues the original thought of searching. Good job.

Thank you!

Answer this Question

First Name:
School Subject:
Answer:

Related Questions

Human Religious - If Japanese culture/religion lives, how has Western culture ...
English - I'd like to make the program, "Let's Learn Japanese". In this program...
Japanese - What is the Japanese translation of this sentance: "I think that that...
English - I pretend I am a PD. I will make an educational program. I will call ...
Communication - In response to a compliment on his excellent oral presentation, ...
SS - "(We) have come after these long thousands of years to experience the agony...
art - Toward the end of the twelfth century, the Japanese emperor and his court ...
Japanese - What is the Japanese translation of this sentance: "I think that that...
Japanese - okay....so in my Japanese class right now, we're currently writing ...
Old Japanese riddle - These letters and numbers have taken us far. It's not a ...

Search
Members