Is it better now?
Is anyone can give me some suggestions other than grammar problem? For example, ideas, etc.
Of course...suggestions about grammar are also welcomed
Thank you so much!
I was glad that I had an opportunity to be an interpreter in a Howard County event. I feel lucky that I can speak two different languages ---- Chinese and English. Living in China for a long time made me familiar with Chinese culture. After studying in America for one year, eventually I am able to adapt to the new culture, too. Therefore, I can bring this advantage to Penn State, since schools now have become more and more multicultural. Many students from other countries may face hardship to adjust the new environment when they first come here, so I can be assistance to them, at the same time, I can spread the idea of globalization to the Penn State community, and make it not only a university, but also a world village.
some suggestions:
"I was glad...I feel lucky" <-- the two sentences don't agree tense-wise. maybe you should say that "I am glad" :)
"After studying in America for a year, I was able to assimilate to its culture as well."
"I feel that with my multicultural awareness, I would be an asset to Penn State, which like many other universities, seeks to diversify their community."
"I know first hand how difficult adapting to life in a different country can be, so I would be eager to assist my international peers transitioning to their new life at Penn State."
*hint: please double-check to make sure that "globalization" is the word that you are looking for.
please continue to revise. good luck! :)
Based on the given text, it seems like the person is seeking suggestions and revisions for a piece of writing. They are particularly interested in ideas and suggestions beyond just grammar problems. The person is expressing their experience as an interpreter and their ability to speak two different languages, Chinese and English. They also mention their familiarity with Chinese culture and their ability to adapt to a new culture, which they believe can be advantageous in a multicultural environment like Penn State. They express their willingness to assist international students in adjusting to the new environment and spreading the idea of globalization at the university.
Some suggestions for revising the text include:
1. Making the tense agreement consistent within the first paragraph:
"I am glad that I had the opportunity to be an interpreter at a Howard County event. I feel lucky that I can speak two different languages - Chinese and English."
2. Revising the sentence about adapting to the new culture:
"After studying in America for a year, I was able to assimilate to the new culture as well."
3. Broadening the focus on multicultural awareness and diversity at Penn State:
"With my multicultural awareness, I believe that I can contribute to Penn State's goal of creating a diverse community."
4. Highlighting the willingness to assist international students:
"Having experienced the challenges of adapting to a new country firsthand, I am eager to support my international peers in transitioning to life at Penn State."
5. Double-checking the word choice of "globalization":
"Furthermore, I aim to foster a sense of global understanding and interconnectedness within the Penn State community."
By following these suggestions, the writer can improve the coherence and clarity of their message while also addressing grammar issues.