Monday
September 15, 2014

Homework Help: Please Proofread my essay

Posted by shining_star007 on Monday, November 20, 2006 at 10:08pm.

Weather Gone Wild
-During this semester, I was to keep track of a current event. I chose to research extreme weather globally, but I was most interested in discovering if there was any sort of extreme weather happening around the United States, as well as finding out what causes the weather to become extreme. Before I started my research, I knew that extreme weather was happening and I thought it was caused by global warming. I chose to write about this topic because I was very fascinated about extreme weather happening. During my research, I hoped to find out where around the United States extreme weather was taking place. I also wanted to prove that extreme weather was caused by global warming. During my study of extreme weather, I thought that my study would turn out to be that extreme weather was caused by global warming. In every part of the world, extreme weather happens, but it also happens around the United States, probably because of the global warming that is taking place.
Much of the commercial media tends to blow things way out of portion and inaccurately stating that extreme weather is a natural thing that is not at all caused by global warming, which the media claims that it’s not happening. Even though articles are hard to find and the media sometimes doesn’t publish good articles, I was able to find five articles to help my research of extreme weather. As I did my research, I found five articles that stated clearly that extreme weather was caused by global warming. As I researched, I found some articles that discussed extreme weather in England, Greenland, Costal Regions, Antarctica, and Massachusetts.
-Through the course of my research, I found that in Cambridgeshire, England on September 21st, the temperature was 81 degrees Farehenit (27 degrees Celsius), while during the morning of the 22nd showed just how the weather suddenly changes (CEN News 1). On September 21st, England was in the hottest part of the country, with the temperatures exceeding the top temperature of 64 degree Fahrenheit (18 degrees Celsius), which is normally expected in the region for this time of year (CEN News 1). England was hotter than Venice, Istanbul, and Nairobi. The day of the 22nd started wet and windy across Mid Anglia, while the western country was being lashed with the remains of Hurricane Gordon, Cambridgeshire was experiencing an Indian summer (CEN News 1). The cause of the extreme weather in England is unknown, but it may possibly be global warming in effect. Though this article didn’t clearly state that global warming was effecting the weather in England, I do believe that it is because of global warming. This article had a good range of information such as the weather from the previous day and current day.
Even though the cause of extreme weather in England is unknown, in Greenland, the vast sheet of ice that covers Greenland is shrinking fast, but still not fast as the previous researched indicated, NASA scientist said (Reuters 1). Greenland’s low costal regions have lost 155 gigatons, which is 41 cubic miles of ice each year between the years 2003 and 2005 from excess melting and icebergs, the scientist said in a statement (Reuters 1). Not only has Greenland’s lost costal regions lost 155 gigatons, but the high-elevation interior has gained 54 gigatons, which is 14 cubic miles annually from excess snowfall, the scientist also stated (Reuters 1). What seems to be causing the Greenland’s ice to shrink fast? It’s the Greenland ice sheet, which is considered as an early indicator of the consequences of global warming, so even a slower ice melt there raises concerns (Reuters 1). This article had some facts that were really interesting to me, the information provide I found to be useful because I would have never thought that the ice sheet of Greenland were melting.
-Not only does extreme weather effect Greenland, but also the Costal regions where hurricanes begin. There have been questions concerning if global warming had begun to influence the hurricane activity, and if so, how bad can it get (Berger 7). There is only one reason why people seem to think that global warming is beginning to effect the hurricanes. The reason is hurricanes are becoming stronger and stronger after Hurricane Katrina. There is a pretty good chance that human greenhouse gas emissions have caused two-thirds of the warming in places where hurricanes are born (Berger 8). Upon reading this blog, I didn’t think that global warming could effect hurricanes; I just thought that global warming only effected weather. After reading the authors blog, he seemed pretty logical about his thinking and his information. He actually did research and studied.
As my researched progressed, I found where in the United States extreme weather was happening. In the article, “Alaskan Storm Cracks Iceberg In Antarctica: Study,” I thought, at first, that the storm wasn’t to blame for the cracking of the iceberg because icebergs crack a lot of times. As I continued reading, the scientists who researched the cracking of the iceberg, analyzed the results and the iceberg cracked because of global warming.
Then in the article, “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat,” I didn’t think that the extreme weather caused by global warming could possibly be responsible for so much damage to the crops. In this article I learned that not only has there been crazy weather in the month of October in the New England states recently, but also in years past according to Dan Tawcynski. Both of the articles accurately proved that extreme weather is caused by global warming. I choose these five articles because the information that was provided was consistent, accurate, and useful. if these articles were to be read by another person, they would be able to easily follow along with the information that is presented in the articles because most of the information provided, is information that scientist have studied or residents of affected areas.
-All five articles contained consistent information and had information that could be easily compared and contrasted. In the article “Alaskan Storm Cracks Iceberg In Antarctica: Study,” there was a bad storm that caused an iceberg to crack. The storm had generated an ocean swell that broke apart a giant iceberg near Antarctica, six days later (Reuters 1). The waves of the storm traveled 8,300 miles and destroyed the iceberg, said Douglas MacAyeal of the University of Chicago and Emile Okal at Northwestern University (Reuters 1). In the article “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat,” rain flooded up to eight feet deep after 13.2 inches of rain fell in just one night (Blakemore 1). In both articles, each had some similar results. In both cases, each of the storms happened in the month of October. Just as in the Alaskan storm article, the scientists in the article, seem to think that the storm was caused by global warming and possibly may happen again, “One thing we’re debating in the world right now is whether global warming might increase the storminess in the oceans,” MayAyeal said (Reuters 1). Then in the article “Harvesting Pumpkins In A Rowboat,” the farmer and citizen of Massachusetts Dan Tawcynski, whose pumpkin field was destroyed by the rains, he says that he feels the culprit is global warming (Blakemore 1). In comparison to the article, “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat” and “Rain And Shine As Weather Goes Crazy,” both of the articles had rainfall as well as extreme temperatures, except in the article “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat,” there was a past history with extreme weather. Then in my final articles “Global Warming And Stronger Hurricanes: A Consensus?” and “Greenland Ice Sheet Shirking Fast: NASA,” in Greenland the ice sheet is shrinking fast, while in the other article hurricanes are becoming stronger once Hurricane Katrina hit. There is one thing that all five articles have in common, it’s that global warming is actually taking place, but it’s not just in the United States, but globally.
-As I have researched, my hypothesis that extreme weather being caused by global warming has proven to be true. How can global warming become limited? The solution is to reduce the production of heat storing Carbon dioxide, by driving automobiles less, car pool or ride the public bus. Air pollution also degrades the ozone layer, which adds to global warming causing extreme weather. Even though extreme weather happens everywhere, it’s not uncommon for extreme weather to occur in the United States.


I sort of need help comparing and contrasting each article. I think I have too much information. I also went back and added more information, since I had to have 5 different resources.

During this semester, I was to keep track of a current event. I chose to research extreme weather globally, but If you want to shorten the paper, you can eliminate the previous portion. I was am? most interested in discovering if there was any sort of extreme weather happening around the United States, as well as finding out what causes the weather to become extreme. Before I started my research, Can eliminate previous phrase. I knew that extreme weather was happeningComma and I thought it was caused by global warming. I chose to write about this topic because I was very fascinated about extreme weather happening. During my research, Can eliminate previous phrase. I hoped to find out where around the United States Previous prepositional phrase is clearler if placed at end of sentence. extreme weather was taking place. I also wanted to prove that extreme weather was caused by global warming. Can eliminate previous sentence. Thought repeated in following sentence. During my study of extreme weather, Can eliminate previous phrase. I thought that my study would turn out to be show? that extreme weather was caused by global warming. In every part of the world, extreme weather happens, but it also happens around the United States, probably because of the global warming that is taking place.

Separate paragraphs by either indenting or skipping a line.

Much of the commercial media tends to blow things way out of portion and inaccurately stating that extreme weather is a natural thing that is not at all caused by global warming, which the media claims that it’s not happening. Awkward. Split into two sentences. Even though articles are hard to find and the media sometimes doesn’t publish good articles, I was able to find five articles to help my research of extreme weather. As I did my research, Can eliminate previous sentence and phrase.I found five articles that stated clearly that extreme weather was caused by global warming. As I researched, I found some articles that discussed extreme weather in England, Greenland, Costal Regions, Antarctica, and Massachusetts.

Through the course of my research, Can eliminate previous phrase. I found that in Cambridgeshire, England on September 21st, the temperature was 81 degrees Farehenit (27 degrees Celsius), while during the morning of the 22nd showed just how the weather suddenly changes (CEN News 1). On September 21st, England was in the hottest part of the country, England is a country. with the temperatures exceeding the top top or average high? temperature of 64 degree Fahrenheit (18 degrees Celsius), which is normally expected in the region for this time of year (CEN News 1). England was hotter than Venice, Istanbul, and Nairobi. The day of the 22nd started wet and windy across Mid Anglia, while the western country was being lashed with the remains of Hurricane Gordon, Cambridgeshire was experiencing an Indian summer (CEN News 1). The cause of the extreme weather in England is unknown, but it may possibly be global warming in effect. Though this article didn’t clearly state that global warming was effecting the weather in England, I do believe that it is because of global warming. This article had a good range of information such as the weather from the previous day and current day.

Even though the cause of extreme weather in England is unknown, in Greenland, the vast sheet of ice that covers Greenland is shrinking fast, but still not fast as the previous researched indicated, NASA scientist said (Reuters 1). Greenland’s low costal regions have lost 155 gigatons, which is 41 cubic miles of ice each year between the years 2003 and 2005 from excess melting and icebergs,Can eliminate following phrase. Citation indicates that. the scientist said in a statement (Reuters 1). Not only has Greenland’s lost Delete "lost." costal regions lost 155 gigatons, but the high-elevation interior has gained 54 gigatons, which is 14 cubic miles annually from excess snowfall, the scientist also stated Can eliminate previous phrase.(Reuters 1). What seems to be causing the Greenland’s ice to shrink fast? It’s the Greenland ice sheet, Unclear. The ice sheet is causing the ice sheet to shrink? which is considered as an early indicator of the consequences of global warming, so even a slower ice melt there raises concerns Unclear. Why would a slower melt cause concerns about global warming? (Reuters 1). This article had some facts that were really interesting to me, the information provide I found to be usefulComma because Can eliminate previous part of sentence. I would have never thought that the ice sheet of Greenland were Need singular verb here. melting.

Not only does extreme weather effect Greenland, but also the Costal regions Unclear. Where? Which coastal regions? where hurricanes begin. There have been questions concerning if global warming had begun to influence the hurricane activity, and if so, how bad can it get (Berger 7). There is only one reason why people seem to think that global warming is beginning to effect the hurricanes. The reason is Can eliminate previous phrase. hurricanes are becoming stronger and stronger after Hurricane Katrina. There is a pretty good chance that human greenhouse gas emissions have caused two-thirds of the warming in places where hurricanes are born (Berger 8). Upon reading this blog, I didn’t think that global warming could effect hurricanes; I just thought that global warming only effected weather. Aren't hurricanes part of weather? After reading the authorsPossessive. blog, he seemed pretty logical about his thinking and his information. He actually did research and studied. Just doing research and studying does not necessarily indicate logical thinking. Do you have better evidence of his logical thinking?

As my researched progressed, I found where in the United States Switch previous prepositional phrase to end of sentence for clarity. extreme weather was happening. In the article, “Alaskan Storm Cracks Iceberg In Antarctica: Study,” I thought, at first, that the storm wasn’t to blame for the cracking of the iceberg because icebergs crack a lot of times. As I continued reading, the scientists who researched the cracking of the iceberg, analyzed the results and the iceberg cracked because of global warming. Unclear how a storm in the northern hemisphere effects icebergs in the extreme southern hemisphere. Needs explanation.

Then in the article, “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat,” I didn’t think that the extreme weather caused by global warming could possibly be responsible for so much damage to the crops. In this article Omit previous phrase. I learned that not only has there been crazy weather in the month of October in the New England states recently, but also in years past according to Dan Tawcynski. Both of the articles accurately proved that extreme weather is caused by global warming. They have not "proved" anything. Rather they have hypothesized a connection between the events.

I choose these five articles because the information that was provided was consistent, accurate, and useful. If these articles were to be read by another person, they would be able to easily follow along with the information that is presented in the articles because most of the information provided, is information that scientist have studied or residents of affected areas. Awkward. Split into two sentences.

-All five articles contained consistent information and had information that could be easily compared and contrasted. In the article “Alaskan Storm Cracks Iceberg In Antarctica: Study,” there was a bad storm that caused an iceberg to crack. The storm had generated an ocean swell that broke apart a giant iceberg near Antarctica, six days later (Reuters 1). The waves of the storm traveled 8,300 miles and destroyed the iceberg, said Douglas MacAyeal of the University of Chicago and Emile Okal at Northwestern University (Reuters 1).This information needs to be presented where I asked the question about the storm.

In the article “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat,” rain flooded up to eight feet deep after 13.2 inches of rain fell in just one night (Blakemore 1). Present this data where you originally discuss the article.

In both articles, each had some similar results. You can be much more concise. "Both articles had some similar results." In both cases, Can omit previous phrase. each of the storms happened in the month of October. Just as in the Alaskan storm article, the scientists in the article, Omit Comma. seem to think that the storm was caused by global warming and possibly may happen again,Period “One thing we’re debating in the world right now is whether global warming might increase the storminess in the oceans,” MayAyeal said (Reuters 1). Then in the article “Harvesting Pumpkins In A Rowboat,” the farmer and citizen of Massachusetts Dan Tawcynski, whose pumpkin field was destroyed by the rains, he says that he feels the culprit is global warming (Blakemore 1). In comparison to the article, “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat” and “Rain And Shine As Weather Goes Crazy,” Omit previous phrase. both of the articles had rainfall as well as extreme temperatures, except in the article “Harvesting Pumpkins With A Rowboat,” there was a past history with extreme weather.

Then in my final articles “Global Warming And Stronger Hurricanes: A Consensus?” and “Greenland Ice Sheet Shirking Fast: NASA,” in Greenland the ice sheet is shrinking fast, while in the other article hurricanes are becoming stronger once after? Hurricane Katrina hit. There is one thing that all five articles have in common, it’s that global warming is actually taking place, but it’s not just in the United States, but globally.
-As I have researched, my hypothesis that extreme weather being caused by global warming has proven to be true. if scientists are still "debating this, they don't consider it to be "proven."

How can global warming become limited? The "The" indicates only one, while "a" indicates the possibility of more than one solution.solution is to reduce the production of heat-storing Carbon Omit cap. dioxide, by driving automobiles less, car pool or ride the public bus. Air pollution also degrades the ozone layer, which adds to global warming causing extreme weather. Even though extreme weather happens everywhere, it’s not uncommon for extreme weather to occur in the United States. Awkward. If extreme weather is "not uncommon," that means it is common. If it is common, how can it be "extreme"?

You seem to be repetitively repeating information again and again (as I did in this sentence). Once you indicate a source of information in a paragraph, the reader will assume that the remainder of the information in the paragraph is from that article and author, unless you state otherwise. You don't have too much information, just to much repetition.

As far as "proving" goes, this article might be helpful:

http://www.members.cox.net/dagershaw/lol/Prove.Point.htm

In the future, if nobody is available to proofread your work, you can do this yourself. After writing your material, put it aside for a day — at least several hours. (This breaks mental sets you might have that keep you from noticing problems.) Then read it aloud as if you were reading someone else's work. (Reading aloud slows down your reading, so you are less likely to skip over problems.)

If your reading goes smoothly, that is fine. However, wherever you "stumble" in your reading, other persons are likely to have a problem in reading your material. Those "stumbles" indicate areas that need revising.

Once you have made your revisions, repeat the process above. Good papers often require many drafts.

I hope this helps. Good luck on your revision. Thanks for asking.

  • Please Proofread my essay - amaris, Wednesday, October 1, 2008 at 11:40pm

    you need to indent every time you finish writing a paragraph..

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