Grammar - Improving Tone
posted by Euridice on .
Revise this paragraph to eliminate negative attitude and focus on postive ideas.
"We are sorry to inform you that the Travel-Lite suitcase, Model X4457, you asked about is temporarily out of stock in our warehouse, just as Ms. Cummings of our Hilldale store infromed you. We anticipate getting some in by next month and having them available at the Hilldale store, if you can wait that long. Just check back with them in six weeks or so."
Please let us know how YOU will revise it, and one of us will be happy to critique your work.
Please remember that we do not do students' work for them, but we work to point you in the right direction and give you feedback on the work you have done.
We are sorry to inform you that the travel-lite suitcase you asked about it is temporarily out of stock in our warehouse, just as Ms. Cummings imformed you.